Blurry Vision

Sometimes when you look at something long enough you lose the ability to actually see it. Tolerate a fucked up situation long enough and it all seems normal to you. We tend to gravitate toward the familiar and accept things as they are. We stop striving for something better. We stop pushing for a change, believing one is impossible.

Self doubt and apprehension hold us back from doing and being something great. It holds us back from seeking out people that deserve us, and forces us to settle for people that can’t appreciate who we are, let alone see our potential. And soon, we can’t see our potential anymore either.

I’ve wasted so much time trying to be what someone else wants that I have lost myself. I’ve given in to self doubt and become a shadow of the person I used to be. I live a small life and I settle for way less than I deserve. I have allowed myself to care for people that aren’t worth my time or my worry and let them bring me misery. It is my pattern.

Today marks a new beginning for me. I will no longer push my own feelings aside to accommodate someone else’s. My own happiness is my goal and I will settle for nothing less. I will ignore the voices that tell me I am not worthy of better, even when I’m not feeling it. I need to love myself and make myself happy and stop considering others first. I need to cut out the cancer and surround myself with better people. I will no longer allow the negativity of others to affect me.

There is a saying: “Do what you’ve always done and you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”. I’m so tired of this fucked up situation feeling normal to me when I know it’s not. I’m ready to push for change. I want to do something else and get something better.

Look out world.