Monday, February 22, 2010

The duct taped cat

It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes the cruelty of others really surprises me. I think about the cat that was in the news a while back for being completely duct taped by some fucking idiot.

Today I feel like that cat. Bound with hateful, hurtful words instead of duct tape and left abandoned so everyone can point and laugh at the freak. The loser. Yeah, that’s me today.

I believe there are different levels and degrees of betrayal. Some are forgivable, some take a while to forgive, while others are so reprehensible that when it happens, you have to wonder if you ever knew the betrayer at all. The more you trust someone, the deeper the betrayal. They know your weaknesses and capitalize on them.

His hurtful words ring in my head endlessly. And even more so in my heavy heart. I wonder how I never saw this cruel side of him before, then again, I am doubting everything I’ve ever thought or felt right now. It’s amazing, and very sad, how a day and a few choice words can change how you feel about yourself, your life, your past, and your future. I guess that’s to be expected when you are living a lie and everyone knows the truth except for you.

This one is going to take a while to shake. I’m going to pull the duct tape back up over my eyes for now. Take my pound of flesh and go.