Lita and I got off to a rocky start. I wasn't looking for a dog and she sure wasn't looking for someone else to tell her what to do. But I loved him and he loved her, and so the story goes until one chipped tooth, countless eaten cat toys, a shredded (and irreplacable, limited edition) Donna Karan bag and 6 months later, I was a proud and happy dog owner.
It was easy to fall in love with Lita, most people do. She is so sweet and so smart, she could have easily been a service dog, but that wasn't her place in this world. She belongs with me.
Over the 10 years we've spent together Lita has been my best friend, and often my only friend. She's always up for anything, a car ride, long walk, or just a cuddle and nap. I love how she seems to instinctively know when I am sad or having a bad day, and it's those times that she visits me with her puppy eyes wide, her tail wagging and so many kisses that I forget what was wrong in the first place. She has shown me such love and such loyalty that I am forever changed by her.
About a year ago Lita started to slow down. Her rear legs started to fail her and since then her health has been a downward spiral. Turns out 13 year old dogs are not good canidates for double knee surgery. While I've tried my best to keep her comfortable, there is nothing I can do to actually help her to get better. Last week Lita lost the ability to stand or walk independently and I am left with just a single tool in my toolbox. The only thing I can give her now is her freedom.
And so I must.
Tonight is her last night on this earth with me and I've tried to give her the perfect last day. Even as I type these words I feel my my heart ache. There is a Porterhouse on the grill just for her and after dinner I'm going to use every blanket and pillow in the house to turn the livingroom into a fortress just for us where we will cuddle and watch tv all night. I won't sleep a wink, I'll just lay with her all night stroking her fur and thanking her for bringing me so much love and happiness and telling her how much I will miss her face everyday.
Morning will come and the reality of the situation will hit me again like a ton of bricks. Tomorrow night my Lita will be gone and there is nothing I can do to change that. I am broken. No words can begin to express the depths of my sorrow.
The best I can hope for is that she leaves this world feeling even half as loved as she makes me feel. And that she knows I know how lucky I've been to have had her. Lita is an irreplacable, limited edition all on her own.
Goodbye my Beautiful Bear, Lita. I will always love you.
